Quinn rolled over for the first time this week. I was not ready. Emotionally, I mean.
I scrambled through Sophie’s first 6 months, holding on for dear life by my fingernails. Wondering how I was screwing up, not having the experience to know for sure. (I mean, the first diaper I ever changed was on her, in the hospital, nearly 5 years ago. And I was TERRIFIED.) I have been determined to be present this time, and not ruled by the fear that an infant can bring onto your child-free mojo.
Cut to playing with Q on the floor the other day. Teasing her with a toy that was just out of reach. I thought we were still swaddled snugly in infantdom. I was soaking in her every coo. I felt like I actually had a clue how to do this.
And then she went and changed things up.
The girl has a smile that lights up the world she is in, just like her dad. It’s hard to be upset when she is THRILLED about doing something new. I just want it to slow down. A little.
And simultaneously I want both of my kids in college. Now. Or at least when I’m still in my 40’s, which is not likely unless they are brainiac prodigies that I don’t know about.
Either way, it’s free to fantasize, right? Or cheaper than college tuition. Or Montessori, for that matter…