not closure, but progress…

I have several friends who love animals like I do.  Amanda is one of them.

We are both beyond emotional when it comes to animals.  When I told her about Rocky’s death, she immediately started sobbing.  Neither of us could speak and our phone calls were just a lot of crying at first, then laughing, then a lot more crying and agreement that this is part of the deal of having pets, painful as it is.

Just weeks before Rocky died, Amanda had sent a memorial stone for Gherkin and Kovi, two beloved cats of mine that I had been meaning to do something for (for QUITE some time).  Naturally, she sent one immediately for Rocky.

Upon receiving it I had a good, cathartic cry… and then kept it on my kitchen counter.  For weeks.  There was part of me that couldn’t bear to put it outside with the other stone, in the little garden Sophie and I had planted for the cats.

This week, I turned a corner, facing the reality that Rocky is gone and me putting his stone outside did not mean I was shutting out his memory.  In fact, I was honoring it.

So, while the hole in my heart will remain forever, I’m learning to live with it.

And Amanda and I are finally able to talk again without tears, or at least for now.  As long as the topic doesn’t include zoos, circuses, Old Yeller, or other things that raise our hackles…

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2 Responses to not closure, but progress…

  1. Erica says:

    Oh, Dear Girl…I’m sorry this is still so painful. It really was extra sad that Rocky passed just a few months after Gherkin– talk about a double-whammy.
    That memorial stone is just precious, and very Amanda (I don’t know her well, but all of my interactions with her always involved a lot of thoughtfulness and generosity on her end). 🙂
    Is Old Yeller bad, or just sad? I love that movie.

    • You can add rodeos, greyhound racing and seaworld to my list of hackle raising topics. 🙂

      Old Yeller is a movie I never want to see again. It scarred me as a kid and led to nightmares (too young when I saw it?). Can’t speak for Amanda here, but it raises all the hairs on the back of my neck even thinking about it… If Sophie ever wants to know the story she will have to read the book and discuss it with someone else! I love the stray dog aspect to it, but the rest is too hard for me.

      Please, everyone, make sure your pets have their rabies shots!

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